First Entry

So, here we go. Wednesday is my first appointment with the doctor who will, hopefully, be performing the gastric sleeve surgery. I’m worried because the sleeve may not be the best option. If it isn’t, then I’ll have to go to a doctor an hour away for gastric bypass. I really don’t want the bypass option, but, obviously, if the doctor thinks that’s the best choice, then that is what I’ll do. I know this is the right path for me now, but I am still concerned. With two kids that are fully dependent on me, I have to be able to get through this. The risks are high, but the benefits outweigh them. I will struggle now, but will be better later. My kids and husband will need me for a long time. So I need to do this for them. I don’t care about the losing weight part, I care about the being healthy part.

I have chosen to tell only a select few of this decision. And I am thankful that they are willing to keep this to themselves until I am prepared to tell the world. But I still fear judgment by those few people. Will that fear ever go away? I’m not so sure. But I hope that I will learn to not care what others think. That the ability to accept what is, will become second nature to me.

But, for now, I will keep this to myself and my small circle. Until the day comes that keeping it to myself is no longer an option.