My nerves were on fire today. I have known about this appointment and thought I had mentally prepared myself. Apparently, it wasn’t good enough. I went to work feeling fine. I made a fool of myself by falling out of my chair and onto the floor, but that wasn’t so bad. After a few minutes of quiet time, this appointment crept into my brain and laid a nasty little egg full of self doubt and anxiety. I barely made it to the bathroom to puke. Gross, I know. Then, my legs started shaking and I could barely stand. I ended up going home. I was just not in the right frame of mind. And I feel awful for leaving my co-workers high and dry. I’m thankful they are so understanding.
The nurse was so amazing. She was very reassuring and helpful. She even explained the doctor’s personality so that I wouldn’t be so anxious.
When the surgeon came in, we went over three different options that could be considered in my case. The first was the lap-band. With it you don’t lose as much weight and it comes off slowly. There is also a high risk of having to have a second or more surgeries. Second was the vertical sleeve. You lose weight at a slower pace as well and there are risks with it too. Lastly, gastric bypass. With this option, you lose weight really fast. There are more complications with this option.
After discussing the surgeries and their risks and benefits, we decided on the sleeve. It just makes sense for us to do this one. Plus it will be done at a hospital less than ten minutes from our house.
We apparently have really good insurance. Because, while most patients have to do six months of pre operation prep, our insurance only requires three months. Which means this will all go very fast.
I meet with the nutritionist tomorrow who will go over the diet with me. I’ll need to call and set up my psych eval. Monday I go in for an EKG and blood tests. I’ll have to do an upper GI scan and more blood tests sometime in May. Once a month for three months, I will have to go to a supervised weight loss class. And finally, I will have to do some clearance testing to make sure my heart and lungs are healthy enough to handle the surgery. I’ll also have one final pre-op appointment with the surgeon before surgery in June.
It seems like a lot of stuff all jammed into three months. But I never thought this would be easy. I’ve known that this is the hard way. But I need this for my family and myself. I know that. This will be a long, hard journey. A worthwhile journey. One that I hope will inspire my kids and other people.