Refocusing fear & anxiety

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I’m excited! But, my nerves have obviously gotten the best of me. I’ve snapped at a few people who don’t deserve it, and I feel bad for that. I just have to keep chugging along.

Yesterday, my kids and I got the house somewhat in order. Today, I am preparing everything else. I have put all of my medications and vitamins into a pill organizer so that I won’t have to worry about it once I’m released. I’d like the transition from hospital to home to go as smoothly as possible. Later today, I’ll get the packing out of the way.

One thing I haven’t done is purchase all of the liquids that I’ll be living off of for the next two weeks. I’m planning on seeing what I eat at the hospital and what I feel like eating. Then, I’ll have my hubby go to the store for me.

Speaking of hubby, he is flying home tonight. He’ll land in Indy around 11 pm. Surgery is at 11:30 am tomorrow.

My anxiety isn’t as terrible today as I thought it would be. I credit my healthcare team for that. They do a great job at educating us on what to expect during this process. I also took the anxiety I was feeling during my last post and focused it on getting things ready and organized. This describes well all of my internal dialogue today:

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And it’s true, isn’t it? That fear acts as a barrier between who we are today and who we will be tomorrow. A curtain, if you will. We stand behind it with fear that once that curtain rises, what is on the other side won’t be enough. But, what if it is? What if it is everything you’ve ever hoped for and dreamed of and more? I’ve chosen to take that leap of faith and put trust into the process of shedding this old body and coming into a new and healthier me.

I am so very thankful to all of you who have been so supportive of me during this change in my life. I can’t wait to see you on the other side!

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Published by: CurvyFitFabuLOSS

My name is Jessica Wolfe. I am the wife of an incredible man and father. He and I have been together longer than we have been apart. We have two sons, one is 18 and a freshman at Indiana State University majoring in Music Education. Our 13 year old son is in the 7th grade and is being home schooled. My vertical sleeve gastrectomy surgery was on June 16, 2016. My total gastrectomy was March 3, 2017. I’ve recently found out I have a fairly large benign tumor in my brain. I also have something going on in my lower spine between my L5 and S1. It seems as though surgery is imminent. Through this blog, I share my life with you and am brutally honest with myself so that when I do look back, I can see what it was that made me make the decisions I did. I also welcome opinions and questions as it challenges my thoughts and helps me grow from where I am. If you want to check me out anywhere else, please do! Instagram: CurvyFitFabuLOSS Snapchat: Momma_Wolfe717 Email: CurvyFitFabuLOSS@yahoo.com

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